micheleaaa

i neglect my blog

2009-10-20T01:32:54Z

i'm so done. revelations are so liberating and there's nothing better than the feeling of weightless shoulders and infinite horizons.

does my brief, inspirational line of nothingness make up for months of neglect?
no? well, my bad. i've got a six page paper due wednesday.

micheleaaa @ 2009-07-02T22:35:00

2009-07-03T02:36:08Z

speechless

2009-06-26T02:59:35Z

these past two days changed my life.
i went to congress and lobbied to pass the LRA Disarmament and Northern Uganda Recovery Act of 2009. i got my congressman, in my small meeting, who i spoke to, to sign that bill, supporting passing this law that will require President Obama to aid the people being brutally murdered all over Africa.

my life has reached a complete plot-twist.

the passion these people possess, just in their eyes, let alone their hearts and their smiles, is absolutely astonishing. I don't know how someone can meet them and not be affected. and I was one of those people. I have become one of these passionate humanitarians, and now I understand where people like that are coming from.

i am part of a revolution. i am part of the youth that is going to change the world.
i've never been happier in my life.

'giving'

2009-06-19T03:18:10Z

Give me something to believe in and I will give you the greatest gift of all. I will give you my gratitude. It may seem small, maybe even insignificant. But I promise you the heights your soul will soar to will leave you amazed with a jaw dropped so far you won't be able to tell if those are your teeth or little white glimmers of the happiness you gave me. Believe in this and I will believe in any smirk that comes across my face and anything that strikes laughter deep down in the pit of my stomach. I will believe once more the way I believed when I wore the clothes of a young child and I played a game with sticks and dirt. I'll reach back into the corners of my mind and search for the innocence that came over me every time my mother shook me out of my slumber. I will remember the instant gratification that came along with a warm hug of support and security from my grandfather. I will once again have complete faith in the words "Everything will be okay". My insecurities and doubts will vanish as quickly as steam comes rattling out of hot pot of rice on the fire. I will no longer have nightmares of my mother leaving me here with no one to take of me. All this can happen with the faintest strand of faith. I just hope my unconditional thank you will echo in your mind forever.

accomplishments

2009-05-24T23:05:14Z

an editor from city paper e-mailed me yesterday and told me that my writing was impressive. that left me speechless.

i've been working like a freaking dog these past two days and i can barely keep my eyes open. i would be sleeping right now, but good ol' joe gallagher is making his way to jersey, so my eyes will stay peeled a few hours more for the reunion of four good temple friends under one summer night sky and the ill, unflattering, flourescent lighting of Somerset Diner.

my employment has shifted from ice cream to hot dogs, and laugh as you might, i'm making so much money it's retarded. and i just freaking started. hoorah!

i cannot believe that i've only been home from school for less than two weeks. it feels like an eternity. I MISS TEMPLE SO MUCH.
i feel bad saying that so often because i know it chips a little piece out of my mother's heart every time i voice my cries about being home and missing philadelphia, but i can't help it.

don't get me wrong- being home is nice, as is seeing all of my friends and making money for the first time in four months. i just feel like second semester, especially the last few weeks, was so amazing that it seems almost cruel to have been ripped away from me.

in short- I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT FOR SCHOOL TO START AGAIN.

in funnier news: i have a sunburn on the entire back side of my body. walking hurts, especially because the sunburn gods were not merciful enough to spare the back of my knees. let's just say staircases don't strike happy emotions in me these days. i can't wait for this crap to be done with.

sorry that i suck at updating, but it probably won't get any better, seeing as for the next week and a half i have two jobs. ALMOST DONE WITH COLDSTONE FOREVER.

a little bit of wisdom from a youth novel writer

2009-05-16T16:05:43Z

"The truth of the matter is, every heterosexual boy --and probably some gay ones, too, so look out, because that's just going to end in disaster-- you ever meet is going to fall madly in love with you. He may not admit it, but it's true. So you have to take responsibility for that and not do things to encourage him-- unless, of course, you WANT him to fall in love with you. Because it's cruel to play with boys' emotions in that way, because no matter what anyone says, men are the weaker sex."

This is a quote by Meg Cabot. I just found it interesting. Hmmm...

it's a mixed up, meddled up, shook up world

2009-05-11T03:53:43Z

i feel like i don't know some of my friends from back home anymore. but i feel like i know my friends here at temple so much better than i have before. i can't wait to be with my best friends at home every night that i can and spend all day on the beach with them when possible. i can't wait to swap stories and fall back into usual routine. i don't want anyone to think anything otherwise.

but, i've established an independent life here. i made a life on my own without anyone here to help me. yes, my roommate is a friend from home, and a very good one at that, but we lead very separate (but peaceful & harmonious) lives.

i do not want to leave for the summer.
i do not want to go back to old bridge.
i do not want to go back to cold stone.

i'm going to miss school so much. i had the epitome of the perfect freshman year, especially post winter break.

so take your tears and go away

2009-04-30T21:47:42Z

i had the most life-changing, inspiring, heartbreaking, revolutionary, INCREDIBLE week of my life.

i am so excited to start the rest of my life.

i am so sad to leave philadelphia for the next three months.

I DONT CARE IF IT MAKES ME A TERRIBLE FRIEND

2009-03-13T02:11:36Z

BUT I DO NOT GIVE A MOTHER FUCKING SHIT ABOUT ANYBODY ELSE'S FUCKING LOVE INTERESTS.

IT IS ALL I FUCKING HEAR ABOUT 24 MOTHER FUCKING SEVEN.

there are times i actually want to hear about it, especially if there's something actually worth hearing.

BUT I DONT GIVE A SHIT IF HE WANTS TO COME OUT WITH US, OR IF HE CALLED YOU THE CUTEST FUCKING NICKNAME YOU HAVE EVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE, OR IF YOU ARE SUCCESSFULLY TURNING A LESBIAN STRAIGHT, OR IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A VEGITARIAN AND NOW YOU'RE EATING CARROTS AND ENJOYING THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.

SHUT THE FUCK UP

and i'm not bitter.

you are the only person in the world.

2009-03-04T03:22:40Z

can i just say how good of a day i had? i got all of my stuff figured out. i was in a wonderful mood.
AND YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO CAN CHANGE THAT.
you drive me out of my fucking head. not in a good way.

micheleaaa @ 2009-03-01T19:30:00

2009-03-02T00:31:07Z

i desperately need a radical change in my life.
things are getting too mundane for me to even handle.
all work and no play make michele a dull girl.

i feel like screaming.

whenever i'm alone with you, you make me feel like i am whole again

2009-02-16T05:38:39Z

i had such a slow weekend.

the return of blink 182

2009-02-10T02:02:12Z

i wrote something when i was home over winter break. i thought it had so much potential. i have not opened the file to work on it since.

i'm losing my love for creative writing, and that is, honestly, something i NEVER want to lose.

i miss home.

sunday morning madness

2009-02-08T15:53:54Z

dirty dishes are currently lurking atop my microfridge. i should really get to washing them, but i have no motivation to do so.

a future roommate of mine is slowling driving me insane, and i really wish that we could just abandon her so we don't all have go through the hell that will be sharing the shame living space with this girl.

i need to do some research for my journalism article, and i am still wearing the same t-shirt i wore all day yesterday. progress? not so much.

last night i watched a documentary, MAN ON WIRE, about this frenchman who walked on a tight rope across the north & south towers of the world trade center. and this is what i took from it:

"If i die, what a wonderful death, in the exercise of your passion."

that should give us all something to think about.

cabin fever

2009-02-03T05:10:29Z

I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE GOD FORSAKEN DORM ROOM.
i don't know what i'm doing.

i miss home.

disappointment is nothing new

2009-02-02T06:17:17Z

at least it's only round one for this year.
but maybe a few more go arounds wouldn't hurt.

.....

oh boy when you're dead, you won't take nothing with you but your soul

2009-01-29T03:16:08Z

my (very) recent attendance at the wake of Richard Paul Valore has gotten me thinking. there are people that exist in this world who have no interest other than living and loving the people who surround them. those are the only types of people who you should bother with, the only types who are deserving of your time.

and i think, and have sadly but also hopefully come to the conclusion, that one should spend as much time getting to know the people they already know as they can. i don't care how much you think you know a person, there are ALWAYS going to be stories you have never heard adn there are ALWAYS going to be characteristics about a person that you cannot get enough of.

and when those people are gone, trust me, you are going to feel like you didn't know them at all.

the life and death of imagination

2009-01-27T18:42:27Z

something my mosaic professor said today in class has been lingering in the back of my mind since the mintue the words abruptly poured out of her lips. and here i am to put fingers to techonology and join in the everlasting harmony of the internet panic attack.

where is imagniation? when i was little, all i could even fathom to be a major element of my daily life was playing with my older brother. we would dress up in batman and bat girl costumes, respectively, and waste the afternoon away mimicking sounds we'd heard on television to the best of our ability. to my parents, we were just playing on our old rug with the smell of laundry detergent surrounding our afternoon. but, to my brother and i, gotham city was our backdrop and the only worry that plagued us was when the bat signal would light up the sky and summon us to protect our beloved home.

jump about fifteen years forward in time and here were are: 2009. my youngest brother is eight years old and almost every single time i walk in the door, he is plastered to the television. if the tv is absent, then it's replaced by his nintendo DS where he helps the lego version of indiana jones escape the snakes he dreads so much and successfully brush shoulders with death. if he is accompanied by other boys his age, they sit around and talk about what happened on the latest episode of Ben 10, or they are actively participating in a video game on our XBOX 360. but NEVER is he with his cousins or his friends from school with nothing but their minds to entertain them.

and after today, i cannot let any other thought enter my brain than: technology is slowly (but surely) destroying young minds. now, i don't mean to seem like your old, crabby grandmother with the "back in my day" anecdotes, but i think this issue is too serious to be casually overlooked.

without imagination who would i be? who would any of us be? i have to have a strong, vivid imagination to be able to picture my words coloring the minds of people around me. where would the artists and the hopefuls sprout from? now, maybe i'm too much of an idealist for my own good, but i faithfully believe that inspiration can change the world. and for that inspiration to reach the people who are willing to take what they will from it, it needs to generate in the mind of someone, young or old, and it needs to be the type of inspiration that makes people believe that their passion and their determination to make a difference, can actually do exactly that.

to me, this all originates from the simple, unbiased minds of children. and if we take away their opportunity to create things with their minds and nothing other, than maybe we're illiminating hope for the the world as we know it.

spring semester predictions

2009-01-26T19:33:17Z

the way things are going...

i'll have every moment of the near future scheduled and illuminated in green ink.
i'll have straight As and a cramped hand, but all the better for the experience, no?
i'll knock heads something i've never encountered before.
i'll come home and nothing will have changed but my spirits and my enthusiasm to be in new jersey.

or, if things don't turn out exactly as planned...

my scheduling will get the better of me, accompanied with big,black fists, one belonging to stress and one to anxiety.
i'll disappoint myself with my inability to summon my inner journalist and crash head first into the devestating realization that I DO NOT HAVE WHAT IT TAKES.
i'll, once again, be disappointed by the fact that my dream-state thoughts acutally never even had the potential to become anything of substance.
and, finally, the thing that scares me the most, is that my friends from home will drift further and further away from me.

let's hope things go as planned, shall we?

speechless

2009-01-25T18:11:50Z

death is, for me, usally followed by an inconsolable state of mind.

Richie Valore was one the best men I've ever met. He was basically a second father to me, and so full of life it was almost unbelieveable. And when disease struck his body, it was the worst possible way for him to die. He became a prisoner of his own mind as his body deteriorated and left him without words, without movement, and without a damn thing to do.

Richie died this morning, after asking the doctors to be taken off of Life Support because he was in too much pain to go on for the two expected years following his past months of suffering.

And now we're going to suffer without him. And I don't even know what to do.

nineteen is not the age of reason. i was only nineteen.

2009-01-12T03:37:46Z

happy birthday, baby. nineteen years old and i'm almost postivie that i still possess the mind of a fourteen year old.

i wanted to hear from the person who has been the most important to me lately, but i kind of figured he would forget. that's just the way he is sometimes. it's understandable.

i had a very mellow day, which turned out to be good for a change. i went to lunch with jackie, then dinner with jackie & my family.

i guess i was a bit hurt by some people's disinterest in spending my day with me, but i guess sometimes i give people way more credit than they deserve, and i just end up indirectly hurting myself.

but my friends from school, namely danielle & joey made my day with their phone calls. and jackie really made me smile, being there for me today.

i guess some people just end up showing you how much they really care.

sweet georgia, she dreams of the rain

2009-01-09T05:26:24Z

here's to hoping...

a small town state of mind

2009-01-08T07:26:43Z

part time jobs and starbucks. that's all my winter break has really consisted of. save the charismatic, sprinkling of the lovely people i call my friends, Stacey & Clinton greet me each morning with their fashion advice, followed by a bowl of cereal and a cold stone creamery uniform. then off for four hours of smelling like fudge and calories.

old bridge, new jersey is too small for me. i need to get out of here.

i can't even imagine the summer.
i can't even imagine the rest of my life.

i can't even imagine what's happening between you and me.

could it be that it has been this way before?

2009-01-04T01:59:55Z

sometimes there are things that just happen to appear in your life. out of thin air. this things must have built a foundation and worked their way up from the bottom over the course of your experience, but somehow you never noticed them.

then one day.. BAM. stronger than ever, i'll tell you.
and i don't really know how to deal with something like that.

but the warmth in my heart has found its companion in the reassurance of everlasting understanding.

a person who understands me. a person who understands me.

i finally feel understood. and i'm in love with that notion.

my heart is in my head, my head is in the clouds

2008-12-30T05:01:28Z

NOTHING is the same.
EVERYTHING has changed.

and i can't understand why people would rather dwell on the uncomfortable than indulge in the whimsical lifestyle that comes guaranteed with being a kid.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

and everyone is clueless.